For optimum consumption, go straight at 100kph and take corners at 100kph

If last month was a glorious experience of novelty and excitement with the delivery of my first Porsche, May got off to a less than glamorous start as I started to see the first hint of flaws in my Cayman.

I’ve been known to be too picky, and I may be a bit cynical, so I’ll just concentrate my criticism on the one true weakness: the A/C system.

As pleasant as April was, May has once again unleashed hellish temperatures. One should understand that a car conceived in Stuttgart and born in Finland would be far more prepared for the eternal winter of Northern Europe than the permanent summer we enjoy in Dubai. And it sure is so. The A/C they’ve put in this car is far from the “GCC Spec” air conditioning systems Nissans or Toyotas feature, and even on full power it has more resemblance to the cough of a Chihuahua than a refreshing breeze. The hard, firm and embracing leather seats do not help the matter, especially when the car has been under our friendly sun for more than twenty seconds. Of course, I blame it on my wife’s choice of color.

Anyway, after going through the run-in process last month, and having a little fun on the track, I decided next to see how low I could get the fuel consumption to go. Not that too many of you are truly interested in this figure, but perhaps you can appreciate the effort of driving 1,300 kilometres mainly in 6th and 7th gear at a maximum speed of 120kph without a single powerslide (except perhaps in the parking lot, once or twice). No high pitch screeches out of any roundabouts and not a single fast escape after any back-breaking speed bump. It has taken such will power that I actually now believe that I can finally bring myself to quit smoking the equivalent of twelve tobacco plants a day. So the result is this. Mixed driving with highways, mall trips, city torture, etc, all in all the consumption came up to 11.9L/100km, which is slightly higher than the advertised 9.5L/100 km, but not too bad.

I must admit to one thing though: maintaining the optimum consumption speed does not really mean going slow.  You can go straight at 100kph and you can take corners at 100kph. I have done both, and the steering, balance and grip are outstanding. It’s the way you accelerate and how hard you depress the accelerator that makes a bigger difference.

I can’t really tell you about the brakes though, because I barely used them this month, although I promise I will have a full report next month.

One last thing worth mentioning.  A fellow member of this publication promised that this car was a chick-magnet. That from now on women would suddenly find me more appealing, that their reaction to my road presence would be different. Well yada yada yada. They showed utter indifference to me in my old Mitsubishi Lancer and they show utter indifference towards me while I drive my Porsche. I am somehow starting to suspect that it has more to do with me than with the ride.

Male reaction has been different. It seems that it is second nature for us testosterone fuelled males to drag-race a Porsche out of every traffic light. How childish. I used to do it all the time.