The 205 GTI has been redundant for the whole of this month, as I wait for a replacement starter motor, left on the top floor of the multi-storey car park to contemplate its recent behaviour. I’ll admit that I was silently praying that the faults that haunt every other Peugeot 205 GTI would hopefully idle past my Cherry red 1.9 GTI. But sadly, this was not to be the case. As it transpires, my Pug is a faultless example for every known French fault...

The interior - for starters - has crumbled in my hands; ashtray, cigarette lighter, passenger’s mirror adjuster, air vents, carpet coming loose and external plastic trim taking leave. The thinly painted body panels seem to fade as the seconds go by too. The rear torsion beam has started to squeak (like it should if it is a TRUE 205 GTI) meaning that the trailing arm bearings need replacing. Oh, and occasionally the European hot-hatch stalls at the traffic lights; again a simple resolve by attacking the throttle plate with a rag and some solvent. Ah the joys of retro motoring. Got to love it, really.