‘I’d best describe the lines as part Abyssinian cat, part roof-chopped hotrod in a discrete suit; tailored yet moderately lined’

Drawing similarities between cars and things, places, animals and people has been a perverse pasttime of mine for as long as I have been putting pen to paper. I mean if the Chrysler Crossfire resembles a crouching dog for example and the Mini Clubman personifies what was left on the pavement post pinching, the Audi A5 I am enamouring myself with this month clearly bestows the lines and prowess of the most elegant of cats – the Egyptian Abyssinian.

I chose the Abyssinian in particular as they are extremely intelligent and active felines, bursting with energy, and very people-oriented. The breed loves high places too, looking down upon their human companions; similar indeed to the lofty mantle Audi’s A5 rightly salutes its competitors from.

Abyssinians are also very strong, slender and, although medium in size, are rather muscular. The Audi A5 in a nutshell I’d say, with its toned yet seductive sheet metal styling, burly stats and finely tailored cabin – truly an embodiment of the midsize luxury sport coupe.

Audi calls this model a ‘modern grand tourer’, in doing so (I hazard a guess) putting distance between itself and its most obvious rivals. But the A5 has much to think about before it can sweep the market clean. After all there is the tough competition from the BMW 328i and 335i coupes (arguably Audi’s most direct competition) for starters, and the infinitely cheaper yet class-leading Infiniti G37 from the East. And lets not forget the home-turf Mercedes CLK350 either, lacking in the looks department as it may be.

Ok, hands raised high, I admit it’s not the most beautiful car ever penned, even if Walter de’Silva (the man also involved in the Lamborghini Miura concept and a few Alfas along the way) has been noted as saying this particular Audi is the most beautiful car he’s ever designed. Clearly Walter has a few screws loose, but needless to say it is still a rather attractive package. I’d best describe the lines as part pussycat, part roof-chopped hotrod, in a discrete suit; tailored yet moderately lined.

It is because of this that I was bathed in compliments and admiring glances as I cruised around Dubai – almost stealthily – attending last month’s iftars of Ramadan. Naturally the stunning alloys, in supersize-me dimensions were absorbing much of the attention, but when the effortlessly flowing wheel-arches flatter them so well it is hard to ignore the lure.

Design highlights flow into the predictably striking cabin, filled with luxury features such as triple-zone climate control and finely finished leather and wood trim. Audi’s MMI multifunction controller is also present – and by far the mostly intuitive system around, controlling the audio, climate and navigation systems.

If its internal rousing you want, then the A5 will not be your cup of Earl Grey; not entirely the most magnificent place to spend a long day in – visually – although the finely stitched leather seats are superbly comfortable with a fine driving position to boot. Overall, the uninspiring sombre Germanic touch does kind of lend itself quite nicely to the ambience of this quasi-tourer – peerless ergonomics, faultless fit and finish and tactile trim.

That’s up front, but in the back legroom is stifled and claustrophobic – with room only for two. Audi claim the A5 is a practical acquisition – yes for boot space  – but serious ferrying around of 6-footers is out of the question. It is at this point that some will readdress the rivals a little more, even though many will surely acquire an A5 for its passion – and not its practicality.

The car itself is based on the Audi A4, which adds a promise that the A5 could be a far more engaging car to drive than any recent mainstream Audi – the R8 of course in an altogether other league. Especially with the new front suspension configuration, a longer wheelbase at 4630mm long and the repackaging of the engine, transmission and steering rack. The differential is now between the engine and the clutch, which brings the front wheels forward to the benefit of weight distribution and looks, while the lower-mounted steering rack is connected to the front wheels by shorter, less flexible steering arms. There are aluminium suspension components too, front and rear.

Sadly the improvement to the potentially sharper turning chassis is not immediately apparent. The steering is indeed more accurate and less springy than that of past mid-size Audis, but it still feels light and rather remote at lower speeds. This lack of honest feedback fades as your speed increases, inspiring confidence when fully unravelling in the turns.

Remember though, the A5 is less of an all-out turn attacker and much more of a classy long-distance cruiser – than an out-and-out sports coupe – even if it does have obvious sporting pedigree way and above the current A4.  This is clear from its firm ride, although not as rock-hard as you’d expect a sporty Audi to be. The suspension operates peacefully even on the busiest sections of tarmac, as it absorbs up the chastisement in a fashion that rarely upsets the tranquillity of the cabin’s aura.

But even with this chipper chassis and all that talk of nudging the engine back to save that chunk of motor hanging way out front, the nose still insists on pushing wide if you happen to arrive at a corner too eagerly. There is little support from the disappointingly lifeless rear-end either, even if you attempt to encourage it by abruptly lifting off the accelerator mid corner.

So why have Audi wasted all that effort in developing the new platform, if it is contradicted by the design brief? Funny thing is, it’s been a major talking point ever since its conception. Audi’s chief chap of all things chassis, Dr Horst Glaser, hangs his head in shame knowing how so much different a handling car the A5 would have been if the engine had stayed put and not forced the wheels forward to the benefit of (well) looks. Maybe the marketers know better when it comes to knowing what the punters want, than say the engineers do? The answer actually, is no as the A5 still suffers from the nose-heavy, inert feel the new chassis was surely intended to eradicate.

Well at least the engineering department in charge of the engine got away with slotting in the direct-injected 3.2-litre V6 without any fuss or alteration. Audi’s six-pot revs cleanly, endowing the A5 with 265bhp and a crisp racy note. It’s quite torquey too, when on song, with 243 ft lbs of torque – although low-down range torque sometimes seemed inadequate when pulling out of slow corners in one gear too high. Once it finds its feet though the sluggishness bows out to a sure urgency, as this V6 comes to life. There is of course the more lively S5 if you demand the best of the A5 line-up, but in real world performance very little separates the V6 and the mightier V8 of the S5 in a straight line.

'If you demand the best of the A5 line-up, there's the S5, but in real world performance very little separates the V6 and the mightier V8 in a straight line'

The spirited V6 however comes matched to either a six-speed manual or as in our case, a six-speed automatic Tiptronic transmission with manual shift control. This is backed up, as you’d expect by a 40/60-per cent front-to-rear power split Quattro system, which provides a rear-wheel-drive car’s crisp handling dynamics along with the extra grip of all-wheel drive.

The department responsible for the brakes are in the same boat as the engine chaps, getting their own way too – endowing the A5 with a healthy set of progressive stoppers. Even though at first they do seem a touch snatchy, the powerful bite soon becomes strong and linear as you acclimatise. There’s no beating around the bush, this car really does need brakes of this capacity to keep everything in check. Out on the road the A5 feels nothing other than a mighty big and bulky car. The pillars are thick; the waistline is high too, which doesn’t help matters, and the huge mirrors obscure the forward-three-quarter view.

‘The Audi A5 is a graceful entity that simply oozes integrity and refinement’

Nevertheless, these design flaws so fleetingly annoying from the driver’s seat soon melt away as you walk backwards after locking the car, admiring the elegant A5 you’ve just parked: The A5 a graceful entity that oozes integrity and refinement, dazzling finish inside and out with a level of comfort and dynamics that sets this entry-level luxury coupe apart from the crowd, even though the 3-Series Beemer is a sharper ride, the Infiniti a clear winner for it’s cost and the Merc’s CLK for its market image.

These market sector rivals all carry serious weight, loaded with fantastic kit and trim, but for me the Audi A5 as an overall package is a nose above and ahead of even its nearest rival – even if Dr Horst Glaser’s nose was put out in the process.

Specification