The gossip on the internet that the Gemballa Cayenne is an unreliable conversion sparked an idea for a test. However, the far more controversial rumour that most Gemballa Cayennes are fakes coated in stickers by over-inflated owners was not helped when the owner who kindly loaned us his Gemballa 750 just so happened to reinforce this myth! Yes we planned to squash the myth that all Gemballas in the UAE are stock and stickered, and what better way than to unearth an earth-shattering GT 750 converted Cayenne to demonstrate the true capabilities of this conversion. And then, to make things more interesting, we confirmed a factory-fresh Turbo S - a car which regardless of the new face-lift Cayene is still actually being sold through Porsche dealerships the world over - to set a bench marker for power and prowess.

After many weeks of investigation we soon came to learn that we had actually bagged a full-blown GT 750. This mean's our rumour-riling ruckus was well and truly on. On the day of the test the grey Cayenne touted as a GT 750, with the words bi-turbo plastered down the whole length of the lower flanks burbled its way toward our location. The sound was just incredible. We looked at each other and grinned. We were about to witness an almighty UAE showdown... But, as the Cayenne drew ever more closer, the further our best-laid intentions drifted away. 'Is that a Cayenne S? Surely not, I thought. 'Maybe it's had a turbo swap... and then been G'd?' I chased every available option. But no, a flip of the bonnet told all. I don't believe it, what we actually had was a GT 450 Gemballa. This is still an impressive conversion based on the 995 S, but what were all those bi-turbo decals all about? 'Gemballa asked me to put them on. I don't want to look silly, I'll take them off.' And that he did. This took longer than he thought, but it gave us time to re-think our Cayenne conflict.

As it transpired this made for a far more interesting comparison than the proposed 750bhp twin-turbo monster that Al Nabooda's factory showroom Turbo S would have had to keep up with. At least the modified Cayenne actually had more than just some devilish gashes torn into the bonnet. It sounded like the devil's own carriage too, with the Gemballa sports manifold and system, Gemballa air filters and, of course, an engine displacement that had been dug out to 5.2 litres from the stock 4.5 litres. But with the gusto to grab onto the coattails of a Turbo S Cayenne, why do owners still feel the need to make out it is something different? While the vinyl vanished we jumped aboard the factory Cayenne to see what a 540bhp benchmark should perform like.

We had driven the Turbo S before, and a quick people carrier it is too, but at a nudge under $ 122,000 would we spend our own money on one? Probably not. A second-hand 2004 base-level S will now cost you about $ 45K, with the GT 450 Gemballa conversion costing around $ 20K. A grand total of $ 65,000 for an SUV - $ 57K cheaper than a brand new Turbo S - that will still outgun a sports car off the traffic lights with enough room for a camel and a canteen in the compartment known as the rear.MMMMM, but there will always be the added worry of the warranty, or lack of it, when you chuck a conversion at a factory car. And reliability will be number two in a long list of worries that will continue to crop up when you start to fiddle with an otherwise stable showroom automobile. The Gemballa is no exception.

Throughout out test, the 450 held up well, felt solid, looked great, grabbed more attention than our sparkly white Turbo S and was a hoot through the Media City tunnels. It stopped well too, which goes to show the factory S 'Red' 6pot front and 4pot rears are well up to a far bigger job. It is these dinner plate discs that require a wild radius 20-inch alloys, and not the other way around. If anything, I'd have opted for the bigger 22-inch Gemballa rims - as they suit the aggressive shape of the car better. But our test is not about looks, or the size of one's ovals, instead it is about the reality that is the Gemballa.

As far as most are concerned, ghouls, ghosts, goblins and Gemballas are a much of a muchness; inventions of the imagination, fictional figures conjured up to entertain folk around camp fires. Yet it seems they do exist. Oh yes I know there are oodles of Cayennes and 911s, Boxsters even that wear the Gemballa letters like a gun and holster, invoking fear in every other road user. And this oppression over daily commuters continues with very little basis. Beefy bonnet scoops and heaving arches may have a certain dictator quality but this shouldn't be mistaken for power. I'm not saying that every Cayenne coated in the Gemballa coat of arms are fancy dress dune-bashers, but nine times out of ten I bet they have a factory block under the hood.

I approached a local Porsche specialist, no names mentioned, but when I told them I was testing a 750 Gemballa, their reply was: '750! You know they fudge all their figures and those cars never go near a rolling road?' Unsurprisingly, when I asked the owner if I could pop his Porsche onto the rollers he declined. But this could simply be due to the misconception that rolling road tuners hammer your car once they are strapped down. So I spoke to Gemballa in Germany, and a kind gentleman did in fact supply a rolling road printout for their 450 conversion. Its 100kph sprints tallied too, as did its top-speed estimate, confirmed by my right foot. In the case of our chosen Gemballa'd Porsche, it transpired, as confirmed by the German at the end of the telephone, that it is actually kitted out with a 750 bodykit, complete with 750 bi-turbo decals, even though the internals are 450. End of story.

We haven't called off the hunt for a genuine twin-charged Gemballa, but while the keys to a naturally-aspirated 450 V8 remained in our possession we played to the fullest. And it didn't break down either, as some sceptics had suggested. The traffic light line-up proved a problem for the pampered Porsche, the Turbo S always a fingertip away, but in real world terms the modded 4x4 was still up there. On the track the question still remained; would the Gemballa gremlins ground the 450 to a standstill?

Specification

CAYENNE CONCLUSION
After we spent a day judging the real-world performance of the two super SUVs, and lending an ear to their aural audacity, we decided to dispatch both Porsches to the Dubai Autodrome for timed laps of the Club Circuit (see above).

Funnily enough while at Al Nabooda we happened to meet a Gemballa 911 owner, who asked our Mr Cayenne how many times his Gemballa had been in the garage this month. 'A few,' he said. But from what I could glean, it was all regular Porsche stuff and nothing to do with the modifications. So it seems there are good ones and bad ones and we happened to test a good one. The Gemballa did feel silly quick. But to be honest it was more sounding silly quick than being. Which is why it wasn't good enough to embarrass the Turbo S. You can't dispute the 1.4-second difference to 100kph and the extra 18kph top speed. But it begs the question is the Turbo S really worth $ 121,400? Maybe that's why some owners go for a far cheaper entry level Cayenne S fit; a bodykit, stickers and a Gemballa GT 450. It's a hell of a lot friendlier on the pocket; just remember to keep your bonnet shut when anyone is looking.