The C8 will never be a Ferrari, or Lamborghini, nor does it aspire to be

Spijker!
It is, apparently, close to impossible to pronounce Spyker correctly. And it would seem just as impossible for Spyker to sell their C8 Laviolette Limited Edition in Dubai. In total Dubai has seen three Spykers, including this ultra-rare Basic Instinct 2 C8. The other two, although imported for sale in Dubai, made their way to Qatar and Bahrain, while word on the grapevine (just before going to press) is that our loaned Laviolette is now also Qatar-bound never to set tread in this Emirate again.

Just why are these Spykers not sticking? Can it really be their eccentricities or the fact that no one has a clue who or what Spyker are, never mind what it makes? For most people the Spyker has simply slipped under the Middle East radar. I disagree. As far as I am concerned Spyker, as a brand, hasn’t even broke cover yet.

Admittedly the company has done little in terms of marketing in this region, which is why the world came to a standstill when this beauty came bombing down Beach road. Yes the Spyker C8 is here, and has been so since last December, tucked away in a corner of the Al Tayer showroom on Sheikh Zayed road.

This is one exceedingly rare car, and here we are, about to join an exclusive club that has taken custody of the hefty Rolex-like key fob. I took a moment to reflect. After all, it’s not every day that you get to drive a $ 340,000 limited edition automobile. Rolling my thumb over the fob activates a movie-soundtrack blip blip. Running my thumb a little to the left and a door glides effortlessly open, smooth and silent.

Once seated, all that was needed was to belt up, adjust the mirrors, nudge the A/C on, flick open the red rocker cover, move the toggle switch to on and then press the dash-mounted ignition button. This woke the glorious 4.2 mid-mounted Audi-tuned V8. Left foot down and the clutch helps us engage first gear. We were about to start a very special day, watching the tachometer of a C8 click over from the registered delivery mileage of 61 kilometres, as we make our way around Dubai. The shoes I wore that day have since been framed and mounted on the wall.

Taking temporary ownership of this exclusive coach built sports car I had to make two stops; one to meet up with evo’s super-snapper Alejandro in Bur Dubai, and a second to sign an autograph for a tattooed Dutch hip-hop DJ who just so happened to be passing through town for a gig at Jumeirah’s club ‘The Apartment.’ I kid you not. He flagged us down and then asked if it was okay to document his chance meeting with the evo team and the Laviolette on his MySpace travel blog. Who were we to refuse?

While this took place a crowd gathered. ‘Is this a concept car?’ someone enquired. The general consensus was that they had chanced upon a pre-production super car being hot-weather tested in the 47-degree heat of Dubai. The crowd grew. The police even made an appearance, as did a good few staff members from a nearby hotel brandishing mobile phones and digital cameras – all pointed at the Spyker. The only thing that could have attracted attention away from this Dutch doolally would be an eccentric oddball walking around naked smoking a pipe, reciting 1700 Century poetry to an imaginary cat. The same questions were answered a thousand times throughout the day: ‘It’s hand built in Holland, with 400bhp, a top speed of 300kph taking 4.5 seconds to reach 100kph.’

One guy stood shoulder to shoulder between Alejandro and I, mouth agape, shaking his head at the boudoir of gapes, gills and gorges. You can just tell this car loves the attention. The only word he could manage was ‘beautiful’, which we must have heard a dozen times that day. Being probably the only Laviolette special left on the market, out of a limited production run of 25, this Spyker was destined to draw a crowd, but a crowd this big broke all expectations. The Al Tayer troupe may have had issues obtaining a signed cheque for $ 380,000, yet on the day of our shoot I technically sold this particular Spyker, chassis number 07 of only 25, ten times over.

Keeping the masses seated at the Spyker stadium was an easy job too. Once they’d had their fill of doors being opened and closed by custom-turned key fob access, and the quirky wing-mirror mounted buttons, we let their eyes wander over the insane 70’s pimp-specced interior. The wacky wall-to-wall cushioned carpeting could quite rightly make this the quickest stitched red quilted leather barstool on wheels. The exposed gear shifter and linkage could have been borrowed from a pole dancing stage or a Focke-Wulf WW2 fighter plane. Either way it works.

‘What is the engine, V6, V8, turbocharged?’ was the next in a long line of questions. The answer of Audi V8 propulsion, underpinnings, six gears and door latches, all from the same company raised eyebrows. With such a whopping price tag they were obviously expecting a lot more, but only a few are put off. But you need to bin your previous views or, more to the point, your aural expectations, of the Audi 40v V8. Because Audi has tinkered with this one, a lot, and these tinkerings are very much heard both inside and outside the car.

Soundproofing, as you can imagine, is not an option with this sort of machine. In fact I was convinced that the glass divider, which does its best to save your ears from the worst German Gespräch, had worked itself loose. It is that loud. The neat little ‘sport’ button that releases a butterfly valve in the exhaust doesn’t help. This ingenious toy does have a practical application, best employed when trundling into your neighbourhood late at night, or sneaking past a crystal cut glass factory without being served with a lawsuit. Once activated the Spyker’s V8 sounds vicious; the pedestrians that gravitated to this exotic craft soon took a few steps back. It’s at this point that some, and there were a few, passengers swung open the scissor doors and headed home for safety.

With 400bhp on tap and a 100kph time of 4.5 seconds the Dutch sports car has the same power output as, say, a Ferrari 360 Modena, but weighs less than the Italian salesman in snakeskin loafers that would try and sell you one. There again, the C8 will never be a Ferrari or Lamborghini, nor does it aspire to be.

If you really are looking for performance on a budget (relatively speaking) you need to hotfoot past Holland’s Spyker, Germany’s Gumpert and edge away from the Italian Edonis. They may all produce seriously good power with a quirky name and eccentric styling, but they are still unknowns to most and boy, at what a price. If, however, you want something that edges you into a whole new different ballpark better start back peddling. I say forget the EB110-platformed Edonis and the Audi-powered Gumpert Apollo and delve a little deeper into the Dutch nether regions.

The wholly hand-built bit is also in a league of its own. Come expecting hand-built TVR-style and you’ll also be sent home with your tail between your legs. Aside from the gaping frameless windows that would have you believe that the door is ajar, the 60 or so staff of Spyker really do show the likes of Maserati and Aston a thing or two about build quality. But then this is a rolling work of art, what do you expect? No Ford Mondeo switchgear or waft of glue here. evo publisher Mohamed, when he turned up for a quick blast, half-expected the car to creak groan and collapse in a heap by the time we got into third gear. When it didn’t he was quick to praise the workmanship of the Dutch employees. May I refresh your memory: this is a $ 340,000 car, a proper car that has beautiful balance and poise, a power to weight ratio of 320bhp per ton and deadly taught chassis.

For such a ferocious machine the Laviolette is painfully elegant. The wads of exposed aluminium lure sticky paw prints, while the cool glass canopy – reminiscent of a modern fighter jet ­– waste every effort of an otherwise exceedingly good air conditioning unit, as you bake under the motorised magnifying glass.

The ultra-stiff aluminium space framed chassis, clad with hand-beaten aluminium panels, fully adjustable F1-style Koni/Eibach inboard suspension and CNC machined aluminium solid billet uprights makes for a stiff ride, especially at slow speeds. The C8 may have a flamboyant suit, but a sneaky look at its underpants uncovers a dangerously stiff structure. This intense structure doesn’t send shockwaves through the cabin every time you press the right pedal hard, nor does it shake your teeth out over inept terrain. The C8 really is an accurate weapon, a point and shoot super car that doesn’t unnerve you when you decide to make an abrupt change of direction. Tailhappy? That’ll be a no too. This could be a good thing, as the last thing you want to be is going backwards at warp speed over Defence roundabout. There will of course be those that would complain about the harshness, because it is quite harsh once compared with a regular old family saloon, but will these critics really have the necessary Dead Presidents to hand over to own one of these? I very much doubt it.

So, is the C8 a sports car or a super car? I’d plump for the latter. It blends the sublime with the ridiculous at the drop of a flat cap, with its dexterity, no expense spared prototype interior and race car precision. It looks exotic enough to take this debate to the doorsteps of Koenigsegg and Zonda – and is quite possibly the most impractical four-wheels I’ve campaigned in a very long time. And that howl from the 40v V8, well please pass me the Montblanc again, I’ve found yet another box to tick. I mean come on, how many more boxes do you need penned before you agree with me that the Spyker C8 Laviolette is nothing but a super car?

It’s low, loud, lairy, lavish and ludicrously expensive. It’s also lacking in power-assisted steering, so you’ll need the assistance of a passenger to help steer the C8 around at slower speeds, not that you’ll struggle to find willing volunteers. You won’t see much improvement though as the Titanic is able to perform a better three-point turn, and that’s laid at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean for the past 95 year, in two pieces.

Once on the move though, at greater speed, you really wouldn’t want to have the company of anything else but the heavy unassisted steering. This reassuring feedback really adds to the sense of drama that is the Spyker, but be warned it can make for a slightly exhausting experience. But don’t throw your co-pilot out just yet, as you’ll require your chosen comrade to operate the handbrake – found in their footwell! You’ll be surprised, at how often they will deploy it without prior warning…

The C8 is devoid of a brake servo. And although the massive six-pot AP brake callipers could halt an industrial Caterpillar truck, the reality is somewhat different. Gigantic discs, catastrophic callipers and solid hard-as-nails race pads may scream authority, but in reality they do very little to bring you to a screeching halt. Again you need your passenger’s help, both feet preferably, along with yours to press against the woefully wonderful looking pedal box. You’ll stop, eventually, but there’s nothing like a dead-feel to a pedal to knock your confidence in pushing a rare as a 2017 Rolling Stones revival road rocket to the limit. Not that you’d know if you had hit anything, as you cannot see the front end of the car from the seating position – and there are no airbags either. There again, if you’re going to die in the line of duty might as well be in the Spyker. So to hell with the safety cushions and long live the pocket-sized Dutch coffin, plastered in war plane paraphernalia, the greatest thing since windmills, tulips, Rembrandt and wooden shoes. But the question still remains: Why is the only Spyker in the Dubai Emirate of the UAE still without an owner?

The company’s message, Nulla tenaci invia est via may translate as ‘for the tenacious no road is impassable,’ but what does that mean for the Middle East market? Does it mean that the roads of the Dubai are impassable for the Spyker or that this particular Emirate is not tenacious enough for the like of the C8?

Specification
SPYKER C8 LAVIOLETTE
Engine: 90deg Audi V8
Location: Mid-rear, longitudinal
Displacement: 4172cc
Cylinder block: Aluminium alloy
Cylinder head: Aluminium alloy, dohc per bank,five valves per cylinder
Fuel and ignition: Electronic multipoint fuel injection
Max power: 400bhp @ 7500rpm
Max torque: 354lb ft @ 4750rpm
Transmission: Six-speed manual, rear-wheel drive, limited-slip differential
Front suspension: Double wishbones, coil springs, inboard dampers, anti-roll bar
Rear suspension: Double wishbones, coil springs, inboard dampers, anti-roll bar
Brakes: Ventilated discs front and rear, ABS
Wheels: 19 in magnesium Aeroblade
Tyres: 235/35 x 19in fr, 255/35 x 19in rr
Weight (kerb): 1275kg
Power-to-weight: 319bhp/ton
0-100kph: 4.5sec (claimed)
Top speed: 300kph (claimed)
Basic price: $ 381,190 (as tested)
Evo Rating: 4 & a Half