I can't believe I'm waxing lyrical about a 130bhp car made in France out of tin foil

TEAM Focke-190
Driver line-up - Khalaf and Cole
Car - Mercedes 190 2.5 16v Cosworth
Layout - 2498cc in-line 4-cyl 16v, rear drive
Claimed power - 201bhp
Alleged 0-100kph - 7.8sec (auto)
Theoretical top speed - 225kph

Poor old Jon and Bassam, thinking that they can take me in whatever dinky cars they must have chosen for this challenge. Whatever it may be, there is no way that they will be able to get past my classic of classics, the Mercedes Benz 190 2.5 16v, truly a classic sports saloon. You see, of all the beaten up oldschool cars that we have accumulated over time and stuck in the basement of evoHQ, it is the Cossie Merc - or Mercedes 190 2.5 16v if we are to give the car its proper long-winded title - that generates the most interest. Even though it has sat idle for over a year now.

The over-engineered body-kitted 2.5-litre 16v 190s was built initially for rally use, but with Audi trouncing all on-comers with their all-wheel drive machines Mercedes turned to circuit racing, in particular the DTM German touring car series. Here they triumphed, taking endless victories, ahead of the flared-arched BMW E30 M3. But could the sober saloon still show the other two teams about tarmac etiquette?

Fresh off the boat from Japan, our catch of the day had only been away from the port four days before Jon got his clammy claws into it. I'm sure he'll be the first to admit though that the sale was concluded more by his heart and not his head, as he was more excited about the prospect of gazing at the Merc sat in the evo car park every morning - telling anyone who'd listen that he owned a batmobile 190 16v - than actually believing it would ever turn a wheel.

Nevertheless he haggled in Ajman, in the height of summer, knowing damn well that the super saloon would prove problematic every inch of the way home and probably forever more knowing his luck.

With demand outstripping supply the world over, amazingly enough prices for the Cosworth 190 are usually rather concrete, with $ 10,000 - $ 12,000 needed for a good example. The cleanest of these remarkable classics have been known to demand as much as $ 20,000. So you could say our Autobahn-bruiser is befitting of bargain status, costing a critically low $ 1633.

Damn we are good. Retro hounds-tooth fabric door inserts, half leather bucket seats all round - yes in the back too - an electronically controlled automatic locking differential, a chassis of astounding clarity, 173lb ft of torque and a top speed of 235kph. What more do you honestly need, for a scrape over $ 1600?

Being a non-catalyst model, this Cosworth-engineered twin- cam 16v 190 produces 201bhp at 6750rpm, to that of the 192bhp cat-equipped model. The Getrag 5-speed manual cars could attack 100kph in 7.5 the automatic like we have here, in 7.8seconds.

Understandably Jon thought that it was impossible to find another exciting automobile like this for so little so you can imagine how many times we've bet each other that we couldn't find anything automotive remotely similar for that sort of money ever again; thus this challenge was born.

As I was out of town a lot in this time I decided to prey on Jon's diminishing bank balance due to over spending on his Mk1 Golf GTI, finally convincing him that by selling his Merc he'd free up some cash, and give the 190 a new lease of life instead of sitting motionless in the car park. We finally agreed on $ 2500, yes over budget I know but Jon had ploughed in a bit of cash recently to get it running properly and the lazy express route usually comes at a price. The challenge ahead would now be a tough one, but being rear-wheel drive, powerful and well balanced surely whatever we could throw at the 190 wouldn't be enough to unsettle this uber saloon. I very much doubt the other two teams could come up with anything close to matching 201bhp and the racecar kudos of our 190, let alone the racing experience of my team mate (evo columnist) Blair Cole who has been known to drive across the Mongolian Steppe in a modified Cayenne. We also decided to name ourselves after one of Germany's less known but most feared WW2 fighter aircrafts, the Focke-Wulf F190. It may have looked relatively simple, but managed to inflict significant damage on its targets - something Im confident that our 190 will do to whatever Jon and Bassam bring to the battlefield. I don't envy the other two teams one bit... MK

TEAM ASTERIX

Driver line-up - Saxon and Cima
Car - Peugeot 205 GTI 1.9
Layout - 1905cc in-line 4-cyl 8v, front drive
Claimed power - 130bhp
Alleged 0-100kph - 7.9sec
Theoretical top speed - 200kph

On day one of the $ 2K challenge I peaked over the top of my laptop and noticed Mohamed frantically flicking through copies of Automart, while Bassam skimmed the Internet mopping his brow. With so much stress, silence and anxiety in the air I called up team mate and evo contributor Luca Cima and invited him out for a pizza, and to talk tactics.

Our criterion was simple: lightweight, naturally aspirated, short geared, compact and devoid of any driver-aids. By our third slice of Margherita we'd decided on a hot hatch. The newspapers proved pointless though. Even the Internet was a waste of our time, but as it happened luck shined in the form of kerb crawling. Cutting a rather long story down to size a thorough search of the Used Car Complex at Al Awir came up trumps, locating a 205 GTI parked down a dark alley. I had a good feeling about it too: Sorento green, in 1.9-litre GTI guise, with a shabby but rot free body - this was the one... Under closer inspection though, Luca noticed that the engine was linked up with more garden hose than Goodridge stainless hose, the interior tailored in rotten carpets - the whole concoction resting on flat tyres. I haggled nevertheless down to $ 1360, but when it was suggested by the seller that we hand him half the money (non refundable) before we even had a test drive we declined. So did he.

The very next day (and I do mean the very next day) we heard of the fully-speced Japanese import Cherry red 205 you see in these pictures. It was touch and go if the 1.9 GTI was in the finest of fettle needed for the fight against whatever the other evo boys would bring to the brawl, but it achieved maximum points for cruising in under budget at $ 1700 - which even included the insurance transfer. And extra points for the petty cash left over. Not bad...

Jumping with enthusiasm Luca then decided we needed a team name with Gaul (and a suitable mascot) within seconds suggesting Team Asterix, after AstŽrix le Gaulois the famous French comic character of the 1960s. Sold, Team Asterix it was. And if we couldn't beat them with 130bhp, we'd simply distract them with our dazzlingly good looks!

As for the 205 both Luca and I have a morbid fascination with the wise-old widow maker GTI, which for me personally stems back to the car's launch, vividly remembering the deathly magazine reviews. No question about it, the 205 1.9 is borderline dangerous thanks to its tendency to swap ends if you lift off mid bend. And when they go, they go spectacularly fast. And they seldom come back. Within a year of the car's launch six lads local to me left the road backwards (all of them driving a 205 GTI at the time) three didn't survive - nor did their passengers. All the reason to leave the Peugeot alone you could say but I also remember when I was younger, attending a Group B rally with my father. On this day I saw a very different 205; a 910kg Kevlar-clad shell with its engine slotted in the boot, delivering 450bhp to all four wheels. From this moment on I witnessed the French manufacturer triumph on the tarmac-stages of world rallying with what was known as the 205 T16 - succeeding by championship wins two years in a row.

Many years later I took a 205 GTI for a test drive. Within three minutes I nearly hit a wall, skimmed past a fence at an awkward angle and narrowly avoided making a 205 silhouette in a neighbour's hawthorn hedge. Nothing has changed I can tell you, the experience not dampened by the years past. The antenna flaps up and down on the sunroof. The car bounces up and down over the super-smoothest of road surfaces and the gearshift sways from left to right as you accelerate. And as it does, the driver's seat rocks back and forth on its mounts. Don't doubt my buying abilities though, because they were not that much different when they left the factory. Just ask Luca.

Above all, I can't believe that I'm waxing lyrical about a 130bhp car made in France out of tin foil. But that is the charm of these iconic hatchbacks. It is very much the underdog here too. Luca has since become habitual with daily texts: when was the last time the brake fluid was replaced, does the clutch slip, and what about the rear beam? I settle his nerves by explaining this is a fully serviced 205.
So I told Luca a fib about the rear beam, which feels as if it's about to snap clean off the car under heavy cornering. But the last thing I want is for my team mate to jump ship, so what is the tiniest of white lies among friends? JS

TEAM ALFADOG

Driver line-up - Kronfli and Rodriguez
Car - Alfa Romeo 155 V6 Sport
Layout - 2492cc V6, front drive
Claimed power - 163bhp
Alleged 0-100kph - 8.4sec
Theoretical top speed - 215kph

I am a big believer in fate. And the only day that Alejandro and I ventured along to the used car market, in Dubai, the first car lot we visited had the red Alfa parked in full view. It was love at first sight, as Alejandro will agree. It looked like it belonged on the racetrack, by far the most aggressive contender that we had looked at, to date. This red Alfa even had black alloys! It was clearly a winner...

Funnily enough I had my heart set on a very specific car, an early 1990s Nissan Pulsar GTI-R. The reasoning behind my decision (if a little controversial) was the four-wheel drive running gear and the turbocharged 2.0-litre 16v engine. The stats say everything, with 100kph up in under 6seconds and a decent top speed too. But they are only available in right-hand drive configuration, which would probably upset the other teams - as it would technically not be road worthy. But as fate would have it, I couldn't remember where the black GTI-R I saw a while back was parked. Thankfully my poor memory bagged us this rather tasty Italian tourer. My pulse was racing before I'd even taken her for a drive. A good sign, surely?

If there had been doubts of gambling on a grenade-like Nissan, there were a fair few eyebrows raised when I made the call back to a friend reporting that I had found an awesome-looking V6 Alfa with no paperwork or service history. The line went dead.

I have not exactly been a big fan of Alfa myself, hearing horror stories of rust, rot, poor build quality and high running costs. But how can you resist the profile of this car? I'm a sucker for boot spoilers and Speedline alloys, of which the 155 V6 has both as standard, so I would have probably bought it even if the owner had told me it was missing an engine and gearbox. I have been hankering after an Italian exotic for a while too - and while I had something Ferrari or Lamborghini-like in mind I think this will do just nicely as a stopgap stallion. I now pictured myself doing a Gabriele Tarquini through the Club Link of the Dubai Autodrome; slight, Italian and leaning heavily on controversial aerodynamic enhancements - just as he did in 1994 in his team's Alfa 155.

As a matter of fact, the 155 was not entirely welcomed by Alfa aficionados back in the day, so in order to claw back some brownie points Alfa forced the front-wheel drive 155 into racing duties. Between 1992 and 1994 the 155 V6 actually managed to conquer the Italian Superturismo championship, the German DTM championship and both the Spanish and British Touring Car Championships. So surely the 2008 evo Two Ton Challenge will be next?

I must say though, that even though we arrived well under budget with the interesting Italian contender I would have liked to see this acquired for say $ 1400. But the owner wouldn't have any of it. Actually, the owner couldn't quite fathom why I was buying it. What a great start! But regardless of the many reasons I should have walked away very quickly, I simply couldn't say no - ending up shaking hands on a deal that included a second set of Speedline Corsa 15in alloys wrapped in hardly-worn GP-spec Yokohama tyres.

In reflection, the bullet points for Alfa's mid-sized saloon don't exactly excite as much as the edgy Lancia Integrale-esque arches do. Actually this model is the wide-body version of 1995 - flared to accommodate the Lancia Integrale's four-wheel drive system. The wide-body style was also applied to the 2.5-litre V6 of the year, mustering up a meek 163bhp.

I had no idea what the other teams had bought but I knew this car felt quick for an oldie, nonetheless, even if on paper it was not the sharpest of shooters hitting 100kph in 8.4seconds. Sounds lame, but it honestly feels like it could still pull this figure as it did back when it was launched. Maybe the V6 has been tweaked? Stupidly there was a boring and slightly unwritten rule that stated that no aftermarket modifications were allowed. But as the inspection meant nothing more than a quick snoop under the bonnet by an independant scrutineer, who wouldn't know what a K&N air filter was even if it jumped out his closet, I think I was safe to let scepticism pass Team Alfadog by and put the steam-train pull down to good oil and a loving home prior to the Middle East... Game on. BK

'THIS ALFA EVEN HAD BLACK ALLOYS! IT WAS CLEARLY A WINNER'

ROUND 1: BEST BUYS

The venue; the car park over the road from the evo office, the objective; to see if we'd bought three bags of nails or bagged the bargains of the century? And the reason for choosing a car park nearby and not the initial suggestion of the Dubai Autodrome was due to doubt cast by one team member that their wagon (no names mentioned) would actually make it there that particular night, under its own power.

But sooner rather than later all three cars and their team mates would have to make the trip to the Autodrome, if only to remind our $ 2K road-racers of their illustrious motorsport heritage! For each of our chosen cars has a firm foot in the international motorsport archives. But could either of our classics take top honours twenty years on for some, at the championship of all championships; the 2008 evo Two Ton Challenge?

Predictably those with the biggest cubic capacity showboated with inflated egos, as the lightest and lowest powered of the trio (the Peugeot 205) was opened up for everyone to poke and prod. Even though Luca and I feared the Germanic fighter pilots behind the wheel of the dogtooth 190, it happened to be the pulsing Alfa V6 that unnerved us Frenchies the most. I'm sure it was those imposing black rims and flared arches, but Bassam was showcasing way too much confidence for an owner of an illegal Italian shed. This cast doubt over the proceedings, Team Asterix not alone in thinking there was some underhand tactics at play. But then Luca overheard Beachtowel Blair of the Focke-190 regiment planning with Militia Mohamed to book their tank in for some lawless modifications, casting a cloud over the gentlemanly nature of the whole challenge.
It was clear that nobody could be trusted so we at Team Asterix devised a plan. If the folk at Focke-190 were going to fiddle, then so were we. But not in the sense of reworking the cylinderhead, or swapping to high-lift cams - like the cheats lurking in our midst. No, unlike our competitors Luca and I of the French Legion, decided to lose weight by junking the rear seat, parcel shelf (complete with 500kg sub woofer) and the front and rear floor mats!

I may also be feeling a little uneasy for unnecessarily and unsportingly taking Team Focke-190 over budget, selling the Mercedes to Mohamed and Blair for a profit, but winning is winning and I'd do whatever I could to ensure Team Asterix's success. Team Alfadog, with their black Speedlines took top honours in the end (but only just) with Team Focke's 190 being dealt a points ballast of 5 (thanks to Moi), giving the lesser-powered 1980's 205 GTI something of a fighting chance.

Thing is, when the flag drops, will our lion roar? Will the Cossie ever recover? And would the Alfa rust away before the startline? Next month we'll hit the road to find out. JS

Round 1 costs

	Total Price	Points
1. 155 V6 Sport	$ 1633	103.67
2. 205 GTI	$ 1700	103.00
3. 2.5 16v *	$ 2500	95.00

'HAD WE BOUGHT THREE BAGS OF NAILS OR THE BARGINS OF THE CENTURY?'